Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I intend to get homeless drunk
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
