Need sex. Gaining weight.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
