I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
