Is it normal to miss your booty call?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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