i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I had to cum in my sink.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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