She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The best revenge is premature balding
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
