You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
