The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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