YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
