I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
