you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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