Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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