Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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