Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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