The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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