you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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