I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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