I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
