I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
