How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I have fence marks all over my body
I have aggressive nipples.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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