oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
