Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
