Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
