He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
