Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
