Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
