sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
