Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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