I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
