So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
