i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
