I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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