Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
