ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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