I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize