You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
