This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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