I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
