Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
