It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
