I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
why do cheetos always look like penises
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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