dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
