is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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