Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
