I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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