he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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