no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize