this beer tastes like vomit already
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
