would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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