just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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