i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
