I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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