Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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