Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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