Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
