break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
