Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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