Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
