everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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