I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
